you're on candid camera (not.)

http://www.vancouveriam.com/videos/5c77e0441b94

Dear GOD, why has no one ever told me how annoying my voice is??

i just wanna run and lose control.

So. Yesterday?
Yesterday, I was happy.
Like, criminally happy.
If you know me, you know that that doesn't happen a whole lot, especially in the last year-and-a-half.
Why was I so spontaneously happy, you ask?
Because I got my book printed yesterday, and it looks SO FREAKING COOL.

I am totally allowed to be spastic about this.
I mean, it's 136 pages of my soul and psychosis spilled out on the page.
It's a BIT of a big deal. Just a little.
(And the dude at the printer's seemed VERY impressed that I did everything by myself) :D

The other reason for much happiness was that I got my website up :D
The Angel's U-turn
(I hear it's got some pretty cool stuff on it.)

I was SO HAPPY I actually called my parents to let them know just how happy I was.
Because my mother worries. A lot. Which makes my dad worry. A lot.
(On the upside, I haven't called them while threatening to burst into tears since fourth quarter. Yes. This is an accomplishment.)

So then TODAY. TODAY I make the trek to North Vancouver. By myself. When I've never been farther than Lonsdale Quay by seabus, or if I have, I was in a car.
I got to Lonsdale just fine. The seabus is cool.
Then I got on the right bus. Going in the wrong direction ;_;
Then I got on the right bus, going in the right direction. But I went too far and ended up at Capilano College (way way the hell North Van).
So I started to double back on foot and--this is so freaking dramatic--the Gods were like "CUE THE RAIN"
And it was raining and kind of sleeting and windy and I almost lost my umbrella and I was lost in a huge friggin' city.
I wanted to cry. Seriously.

But EVENTUALLY I found the place (Centennial Book Binding <3)and the owner-guy is SO nice and Irish and I love his accent (PS: Happy Saint Patty's Day :D) and everything else went very smoothly and I should be getting my finished book on Friday :D
(pictures are forth-coming. see illustrations here.)

So now I am back at school (I got back to Lonsdale Quay and then back to Vancouver proper via seabus all well and fine) and it stopped raining a while ago and the sun is SHINING. And I got a fairly good critique on my final portfolio project (which is the only reason I came back to school anyways).
And I bought myself a mocha latte and a muffin to feel better.
(lol, I am so hardcore.)

Moral of the story: when getting on a strange bus, ALWAYS harass the bus driver so you know EXACTLY where to get on/off. ;_;
The only thing that makes me feel better about all the time I wasted is that I did this today, rather than trying to do it all yesterday when the book got finished printing, because I never would have gotten back to school on time to finish my website and make it to class.
And now I have a clearer idea of what the hell I'm doing, so I should be able to get there faster on Friday <3

So NOW, instead of staying at school and working on my portfolio HERE, I am going to go home and work THERE. Because I am sick of this cave and my apartment will be nice and sunny and I can blare Linkin Park or Breaking Benjamin or Batman Begins or The Dark Knight and be HAPPY again. :D
...while working on portfolio. (lol, maybe not.)

And I need to pick up energy drinks, cuz for the next few days?
Yeah, all together now: ALL NIGHTERZ. X_x
Hmm, although maybe that's giving into hyperbole. I think I'm actually doing quite well, but I find that I am a firm believer in expecting the worst, and thriving in the relief when the worst doesn't happen :D

Hey, it WORKS. *FLEES*

everything's so blurry

Maybe it's because so many of my friends are gamers (just calling it like it is, dudes), but I found the video massively amusing and true. I really like how the art director used a man for the "main character". And some of the avatars are just so cute!

And in other things that have caught my attention (like it's so hard):
http://feltron.com/
Imagine being so together that you can create an annual report for yourself :D
I want to do this. One day. Year. Whatever. Because, as we have said before, I am a graphic design NERD.
Nerd in general, graphic designer on the side.

(and, if you're a nerd like me:
http://daytum.com/
here's something to get you started on your own annual report recordings.)

Midterms are next week. Look forward to angst-filled posts starting...in the next few days. Although by going to school on my days off, I have been able to effectively brainwash myself into thinking I've accomplished a lot. (hahaha, seriously? I know, right?)

Inner Voice: Go draw stuff, bitch.

...Inner Voice is right. Going to work on illlustrations for Senior Project now (gah, I need to start posting those and spread the...messed-up-ness of my mind).
Later, later later. (procrastinators of the world unite!...Tomorrow.)

Ah, on an ending note, I have no idea where I saw this (either in a magazine, on a stamp on devART, or an icon on livejournal):

1. social life
2. sufficient sleep
3. good grades

Pick any two. Welcome to college.

(LOL)

The minor fall, the major lift.

One-month-late-New-Year's-resolution: actually update this blog and turn it into my professional one. :|

...there seems to be something slightly contradictory about the phrase "professional blog". It's probably the word "blog". It sounds very...teenage. But that's just me. 

Other "resolutions" *cough cough* are to read more, write more, draw more. 

Yes, I will do all of this, plus graduate with honors. 

I am freaking superwoman. 

So I have this rather retarded little digital diary that is no more than a word document. When I'm not demonstrating my ADD through disjointed drabble, I also drop in quotes and interesting links I come across. 

Inner voice: When you should be working.

...

*shoots inner voice*

I also like doing horrible things to the voices in my head, but that's sort of connected to the disjointed drabble. Writing. It is good to keep the mind sane. 

Anyways. 

Let's go back in time for a week or so and rediscover some of the good little tidbits I have discovered. 

Note: most of the links will have to do with design and artsy-type things. Because I am a huge nerd. HUGE. 

Links:

http://diinterviews.com

http://www.mattsoncreative.com

http://www.ilovetypography.com

http://www.idrawgirls.com

...Hell. My cell phone just went off while I am sitting in on a class. Very loudly, I might add.  Can I sink into the floor now, please? And why is my cell not on vibrate when I need it to be, and yet it is always on vibrate when I am expecting a call and no where near it? This is the second time it's gone off during a class gaaaah... (I will stop obsessing now. Like, right now.)

Time for quotes:

“Oh God, that’s good.” —Mythra, my Professional Development teacher, after taking a sip of her coffee.

“Are you going by Kat or do you have a real name?”—Drew, classmate, to me.

“No, no, I’m not calling you gay, I’m calling you a queer-ass faggot.” random drunk girl, to Chris.

(That last one is my personal favorite.)

PS--I now have a Twitter :D 

I'll mend myself before it gets me...

I did a reading for myself on Thursday night with my new oracle cards. 

First Card:

Recharge your batteries. 

Second Card:

Detoxify your mind and body. 

Third Card: 

Be honest with yourself. What is your heart's true desire?

And all of these cards jumped out when I was shuffling them. I didn't even need to draw one. The cards are onto me...

My moods have been something of a rollercoaster this quarter. I have my highs and lows, ups and downs. When I get up I have no idea how I'll feel when I go back to bed (when I finally go to bed). Every hour I'm not working on some project or another is one more hour in the morning I'm staying up (I am grateful, in this way, for afternoon and evening classes, otherwise I'd get no sleep at all). I've been staying up late, sleeping in, drinking too much coffee and energy drinks (though much more of the former). I feel guilty whenever I'm doing something that isn't schoolwork (including updating this sad little once-a-month-no-more blog; I'm even doing it in class, so I'm doubly bad). 

I alternatively feel confident and depressed by my Portfolio project. Whether or not I will have everything done in time on time and looking good is always questionable. And then there's certain people who have missed a couple classes, and I worry about them too. It's hard to be empathetic. Maybe that's why I'm so unsocial. It just seems easier not to care. (wow, that makes me sound bitchy. Sorry, I am very tired, and don't really know what I'm trying to say.)

Things to do, things to do, and people to see (eventually). Sorry, people, you will have to wait so that I don't completely fall apart. Because in order not to fall apart I need to see you. I have a hard time finding balance in my life. 

Perhaps I shall write more later; class is over and I have errands to run before I throw myself back onto the grindstone. But I also know I need to take time out, time off, to breathe. I need to keep reminding myself that everything is going to be all right. It's hard sometimes, you know?

All things must end...

...and damn, am I grateful for that. I am very (very) pleased to announce:

The Hell-Project is OVER. 

It is printed, all the extras are done, I will hand it over to my teacher after my class, and then I will go home and eat ramen. 

And I just got 90% on a re-write of my mid-term exam for Production class. Life is good. 

But honestly? Yesterday was hell. 

From the time I went to school, I had this horrible clenching in my stomach. I'm surprised I didn't make myself sick. I went into my Web class and got my final project all set up without any problems, and was able to leave class an hour and a half early. So I was able to eat my dinner at my leisure and get a headstart on the final tweaking of my magazine. But through all of that I kept on thinking, "This cannot be this easy. Something has got to go wrong soon." It can't be healthy to be so worried that something's going to go wrong, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm a pessimist, through and through (and more than a little paranoid). 

In some ways, though, yesterday was good. I actually talked to people; joked about how hellish this term was, bitched about how hellish this term was, even helped out a chick who was having trouble printing. Now, for those who don't know me, this is no big deal, but for me? I am not socially equipped to deal with people. People who do know me will be able to tell you this (especially Meg). I don't like to say I'm agoraphobic, but I am, and always will be, a potential hermit. 

I didn't leave school until 11pm yesterday. Didn't get home until around 11.45. Didn't go to sleep until 1.15. Got up today at 6.55. 

One way to know you're becoming an adult: everything starts to depend on numbers. The time of appointments, the carbs you consume, the countdown of days before you can go home. I am getting tired of everything being a countdown, or count-up. 

So now what do I have to do before I go into sweet, sweet freedom? Let's see:

- Production Procedures: print off final project (due today, by 12.30)

- Corporate Identity: final tweaking to GSG, create PDFs (due tomorrow)

- Advanced Typography: final project, tweaking of previous projects (due Monday)

Typography will rule my life this weekend (or rather, my life after 5.30 Thursday). I am not sure if I am looking forward to this. But it's all over Monday, 10pm. I may or may not do a celebratory post before passing out...I will definitely do a celebratory post in between packing and cleaning on Tuesday, though. 

So there we have it. My first post in what I hope will be a semi-serious blog. (or at least a step up from my livejournal accounts.) Not that livejournal is bad. Lots of writer's have livejournal as their main blog (it rather amuses me). But you know, every now and then I have the urge to actually write something semi-meaningful (was anything above meaningful? maybe I'm just nuts.). 

(My inner voice: There's no "maybe" about it. You ARE nuts.)

...

*shoots inner voice*