Saturday, August 23, 2008

I'll mend myself before it gets me...

I did a reading for myself on Thursday night with my new oracle cards. 

First Card:
Recharge your batteries. 
Second Card:
Detoxify your mind and body. 
Third Card: 
Be honest with yourself. What is your heart's true desire?

And all of these cards jumped out when I was shuffling them. I didn't even need to draw one. The cards are onto me...

My moods have been something of a rollercoaster this quarter. I have my highs and lows, ups and downs. When I get up I have no idea how I'll feel when I go back to bed (when I finally go to bed). Every hour I'm not working on some project or another is one more hour in the morning I'm staying up (I am grateful, in this way, for afternoon and evening classes, otherwise I'd get no sleep at all). I've been staying up late, sleeping in, drinking too much coffee and energy drinks (though much more of the former). I feel guilty whenever I'm doing something that isn't schoolwork (including updating this sad little once-a-month-no-more blog; I'm even doing it in class, so I'm doubly bad). 

I alternatively feel confident and depressed by my Portfolio project. Whether or not I will have everything done in time on time and looking good is always questionable. And then there's certain people who have missed a couple classes, and I worry about them too. It's hard to be empathetic. Maybe that's why I'm so unsocial. It just seems easier not to care. (wow, that makes me sound bitchy. Sorry, I am very tired, and don't really know what I'm trying to say.)

Things to do, things to do, and people to see (eventually). Sorry, people, you will have to wait so that I don't completely fall apart. Because in order not to fall apart I need to see you. I have a hard time finding balance in my life. 

Perhaps I shall write more later; class is over and I have errands to run before I throw myself back onto the grindstone. But I also know I need to take time out, time off, to breathe. I need to keep reminding myself that everything is going to be all right. It's hard sometimes, you know?

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